Ramblin' Confessions

     She really messed up this time.

     Call it what you will...a woman with wandering eyes, a fickle heart, and a lust for excitement.  Her mama always said she was too fast.  Well, she was going nowhere fast now.

     It was a rainy, steamy Alabama July night when her world came crashing down.  Flirting with danger had always turned her on, but this had gone too far really fast.  She had begun to be careless with her infidelity, and that night, her burning golden band would bring karma with a vengeance.

     The door to her hourly flea-bag motel room was kicked open just as hot water began flowing from the shower head.  She had seen this very scene played out before in her dreams, but this was real.  Her husband, the man who got down on one knee so long ago and pledged himself to her, was in the doorway now.  The doorway to her other world, far away from who he thought she was, a world of faded floral curtains and the stale stench of cigarettes. 

     Even at that moment, she noticed, his movements were very calculated, and he didn't seem surprised at all to see a half naked man emerge from the small motel bathroom.  Before anyone could explain or react, her husband slowly lifted his arm and fired four shots from his .45.  Then he turned, looked at her with despair, and walked outside to sit on the sidewalk.

     Poor guy, she thought...he never saw it coming.  After all, she had told him her husband was dead. No matter now; she always loved to have men fight for her attention.

     She stepped over the body of her former lover, got dressed in the bathroom, and joined her husband outside the motel room.  She sat, lit a cigarette, and waited...listening for blaring sirens in the distance.

     If you asked, she would say she loved her husband, always had and always will.  Of course she had a conscience, though it was sometimes cloudy and distorted from the cocktail of pills she had taken every day since she was a teenager.  Maybe her moral compass was off since birth, maybe she helped to nudge it a little south. 

     Either way, she didn't shed a tear when her husband was taken away, at his trial, or at her lover's funeral (which she attended in spite of the whispers).  The remorse didn't come until after her husband's sentencing, when the words boomed through the courtroom "LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE".  It was then she realized their home would be empty, his space unfilled, and the games were over. Worst of all, she DID love him.

     Now, three years later, she sits anxiously in the booth as the guards sit her husband down across the plexiglass from her. He does not seem thrilled to see her...but she smiles, and picks up the phone...


This is the story behind my song "Can't Stay Here" from my upcoming album! Look for my debut album "Black Roses" later this summer...